How many times do we feel that we’ve made mistakes in the past?
We wish we had the wisdom of the present when we were experiencing the past. If we knew what we know now, we could’ve made better decisions, we would be happier and we would’ve spared ourselves so much pain and suffering.
In some sense, we wish we had an intuitive and God like vision of how the future would pan out. By knowing what will happen we can ensure not only that we do only good things but also that only good things will happen to us. This regret is an expression of the need for control. We desire to live simultaneously in the past, present, and future. We want full control over how each frame of time will influence the other.
The intense regret and discouragement we experience when things don’t go our way is often blamed on a lack of foresight.
We believe firmly that the adversity could have been prevented. We believe firmly that the suffering was needless. Our negative present is a perpetuation of the negative past. In our mind we conceptualize life as a math equation rooted in direct causality. However, the variables involved with experiencing life are mostly random.
The discouragement we tend to feel from not seeing the bigger picture is misplaced. We plague our minds with the thought that if only I had done a particular thing differently, I would be happier. We tend to hyper focus on the disadvantages we’re facing and attribute them to what we lack, what we were not given, what we didn’t know.
It is important to not get stuck into these wishful thought patterns which force us to live in a cycle of self-deprecation. Instead, when we experience a failure, we must respond with gratitude. We must be grateful that the failure triggered awareness in us. That it is teaching us how to attract the success we desire in the future.
If we were given direct insight into exactly how the future would unfold and the exact things we need to do in order to succeed, our life would be highly egocentric, and there would be no growth, no discoveries, no progress, and no creations.
Our lives are meant to be lived, we have to allow our minds space and encouragement for that experience. The desire to control all variables is what we are taught by our parents and teachers, and this is meant to help us refine our attentiveness and decision-making skills.
But with each failure we experience outside of these social teachings, in our personal and everyday lives, we must see these failures as a constant exercise. Life is challenging us, exercising our faculty for anticipation. Life is helping us refine our intuition. Experiencing failure means we are constantly being engaged and strengthening our intuitive flow.
We should make the most of our cards, and treat our failures as an exercise to help us build our strength.